A Day in the life of a hedgehog

An insect supermarket on my doorstep
Amidst the willow leaves a yard away
Here among the wood and moss filled mounds
I found a hole
And a tunnel through to somewhere I can stay

Beneath a tall heap in a favourite garden
And added to by those lads from next door
Then of course it dawned on me
November, not just hibernation but the floor

Was set for
Guy Fawkes and those awful bonfires
Bang there goes my Christmas villa here
I could end up baked alive
No thank you
Peace on earth and heaps of yule tide cheer

Perhaps there is a place I can still go to
Underneath the shed an old rat den
Yes its dark and sheltered there
Thats possible
In amongst the garden tools, but when

Should I move out and get into the shed space
It seems there are loads of lovely juicy slugs
A lot of rotten wood appears to be there
And hopefully a lot of fine fat bugs
A leather jacket boy that tasted special
I am in my blooming element, and whats more
A hedgehog needs to get all of his nutrients
That is what a hedgehogs life is for

Got to keep the spines in good condition
Cant go mooching around a frosty hole
And then get in a panic because its freezing
Got to learn to just be in control
We have to kill the slugs and crunchy beetles
A worm or two or maybe even three
But we have to keep away from half baked humans
There is one who puts out bowls of milk for me

In all my wildest dreams I am no moo cow
My baby’s not a calf no not a hope
Its hedgehog milk we need when we are babies
But now I am all grown up I couldn’t cope
With cows milk from the fridge all cooked and ruined
We have strong teeth and eat organically
I am off to stake my claim at Cooks Delight’s old shed
If you want my dears you can come along with me.