60 days

Have you seen the advertisement
For the great and marvellous bed
Topper this and topper that
Special coils it said
Everybody loves it
A great night guaranteed
But try it out for 60 nights
And if it doesn’t please
Then ring us and we will collect
It
Absolutely free
And what do they do
with these second hand beds
That you’ve slept on
Pray tell me

With pyjamas, or bare bottoms
The odd fart or two
Horizontal rowing
And what else couples do
Does it all come back
Is it steam cleaned
Of just repacked and sent
Out to another customer
Who also might have spent
500 quid expecting
Years of restful sleep
But finding hair all over the place.
Just made his flesh creep.