Realisation

Its hard to explain the realisation of becoming a nuisance, alas
It can come with old age, its not something to gauge, it just seems to creep up enmasse
And what can be done to reverse it?
Not really a lot I can say
Sympathy comes in short measure and besides there’s no positive wayWhen your able to stay on the treadmill and be part of the rat race, then you
Are accepted, for whatever reason, but if that breaks down then the view
is you are becoming a nuisance
And long term, a pain in the arse
Being chronically ill is the bitterest pill
A relationship buster 1st Class!The Sufferer suffers the pain of it all
The boredom, the tedious hours
Learns to appreciate the tiniest things
And tries to fight shy of all rows
The Carer is stressed for the Sufferer
And takes on the sufferers woe
But can’t undestand all the jargon
And suffers as well, as we know

Its the pangs and the wilder distractions
Its the crippling flow of the pain
Its the time that is siphoned off, pre allocations, which cannot be made up again
And then of course realisation we’re all on our own, in the end!
The meaning of life doesn’t come back to dwell on our minds it goes foward to send

Messages out to the Universe, where the energies rampant and strong
We have to protect ourselves now we are vulnerable
Not die at the hands of the throng
Its easy to cry in the morning
To wash the sleep out of one’s eyes
Its good if we sing in the morning
For then our opponents big eyes

May pick up a daunting proposal
And shake it for all that its worth
But the simple unending example
Put bitterness first before mirth
Self pity the ditty we keep to ourselves
in the layers of mind we possess
We must appear normal whatever our problem
And fight off the heaviest stress

The puzzle is how we attracted, a disease like the dreaded RA
That leaves you in hock to the Doctors
Who cannot, cure you, anyway
So there isnt a case, that much you know
But your Carers continue to say
Go through the motions of excercising
Forget
and the pain goes away

Its not true its with you forever
Its just you have chosen to try
And file it away, hoping some day
you may lose it, we do by and by
inflammation why is its creation?
And why should it look back on you
Really its no consolation
Its something you have to get through

Its all got this far and you are where you are
On the outskirts of boredom and pain
With your stress levels high its seems easy to cry
A release valve that may keep you sane
Its important to do it away from the gaze
Pick a quiet place on your own
If anyone asks say that your getting better
And on no account ever moan

No matter how sorry, how sick or in pain
You are what you always must do
Head up, smile, say you feel well on the way
Then people will try to help you
You will go, through bouts of depression
You must mull these things in your mind
You will recall negative bits of your days
And lots of bits sadly you’ll find

You will suffer the people around you
whose natural appeal is that they
Will say go and excercise – soon you’ll be better
But you know this isn’t the way
Torture yourself go on pacing for that will encourage those who
Have shown an interest and you may just suffer
But suffer in silence will you

You are in training to give the appearence
that everyday jobs are a breeze
The fact that they’re not never harp on a lot
In your privacy thats when you seize
Back the initiative somehow, talk yourself through it, you’ll cry
Bemoaning the world, what it has done for you
and the questions is why why why why?

But it is your start, to your new way of life
And there are new lessons to learn
You can’t be an Olympic Boxer no more
So let someone else have their turn
Fill what is left of your life
With meaningful thought till you know
That God in his infinite wisdom
Has sent for you and you must go

Till then battle on try to understand more
of what life’s about and no doubt
You will experience suffering, but that in itself is your out
You must learn to smile through it, don’t let them know
Tell them your well thats the way
The moment you let on your bloody well ill
Is the time that they all run away