Idiot wind or A reason not to hunt BEAR

You have to know what you are doing
For bears are very smart
When baiting them you have to be
Aware right from the start

You must pick natural corridors
Near water preferably
Where there’s dense vegetation
And trails out all can see

You need to scout for tracks and scats
And marking on the trees
And when you have a place you feel
Then you have to please

The bears you have to leave
One of your shirts around so they
Can get your scent just hang it on a bush
And Every day

A camo shirt you use outside
Keep it in a plastic bag
And hang it somewhere near the bait
It acts just like a flag

And Will get the bear a thinking
But you will be elsewhere
Now for your bait barrel
Beaver tails you can swear

By them it is the castors
That get the bear on side
The perineal gland he loves
They smell it far and wide

A bucket of old grease
Some wheat some oats
To get him going
And then you find a place to wait
Down wind or he will be knowing

A couple of head nets
Bug clothing odourless control
And duct your sleeves and pant bottoms
you are then ready to roll

So they nabbed a bear that evening
And they cut it up right away
Covered in blood and hair and snot
They made their victim pay

Him and his mates then celebrate
Jack Daniels and some more
And rolled home stinking like the drunks they were
Outside his door

He doesnt even clean himself
he just rolls into bed
The stench of death is everywhere
And he’s out of his head

Of course his wife is beside herself
She knows what he has done
And chucks him out
Sleep in the van
And dont you call me hun!

Your idiot wind mates
All of you can stay away from me
All of us girls have had it with you all
And we will see

You dead before you come back
And share a bed with me
Your dirty stinking rotten
Sod
None of us want to be

Anywhere with You lot
Until you stop all this
Truthfully the three of you
are all taking the piss

Sitting in the van that night
Three blokes met outside
All of them had been thrown out
And with no place to hide

Bedded down in the 4by4
With the guns and all the muck
Stinking like rats in a hole
All down on their luck

It must have been about an hour
When a scratching they could hear
And one of the tyres deflated
It was dark nothing was clear

More scratching and heavy breathing
They didnt know what to do
Just stay put and they dozed
Off
and slept the whole night through

In the morning when they opened the doors
Of the great big 4by 4
It Was really scratched to kingdom come
And a part of a claw

Was embedded in the offside wheel
It was no dream therefore
The spirit of the bear they killed
Had come back and what is more

Had left its mark around the house
Left its scat as well
With deep scratches on the garage doors
And worse so I hear tell

And that happened for many weeks
Every single night
Something came and they felt its presence
In the dead of night

Safe to say the women all left
And went away
And left the men to sort it
And clearly they did pay

No one ever caught a bear
Or saw a bear again
Only the three men suffered
And from what we hear
All Went insane