Based on a true story<\/p>\n
Hunting in North Ontario
\nCamouflage and all
\nThe Moose around these parts
\nAre big
\nYou can choose to call
\nAnd wait
\nAmong moist meadows
\nOr game tracts
\nOr maybe
\nUse one of the attractants
\nThe Moose urine gels
\nThat be<\/p>\n
Available to purchase
\nMoose urine scrape appear
\nReally good at getting them
\nTo come closer
\nAnd lets be clear<\/p>\n
A bloke I knew
\nWhilst using the urine
\nManaged to
\nSpill the contents
\nOver himself
\nNot the thing to do<\/p>\n
Deciding that was not
\nA good idea
\nThought then that he
\nWould go back to the lodge
\nAnd change his clothes
\nImmediately <\/p>\n
That was not a good idea
\nFor Moose urine it stinks
\nAnd on his way back
\nTragically he found
\nA moose
\nthat kind of thinks
\nGot to him
\nAnd smacking him down upon the ground
\nWas trying to get his way with him
\nAlmost a thousand pound<\/p>\n
Clearly very randy
\nHis applecart upset
\nRubbing his genitalia
\nJust trying to get
\nHis way with this poor hunter
\nCovered in urine
\nIt couldnt have happened to a nicer bloke
\nWith his life now on the line<\/p>\n
He lay there feeling sorry
\nUntil his pal came by
\nAnd found the wreck of a man
\nA friend
\nWho it seemed was about to die<\/p>\n
Hunters really sicken me
\nFor them its conservation
\nKilling is just evil
\nSmall penis and constipation
\nThats the be and end all
\nOf people of this sort
\nGoing out at weekends
\nAnd they just call it their sport<\/p>\n
For me its bloody murder
\nAnd this guy got his reward
\nKarma struck him earnestly
\nGave him something he couldnt afford
\nThe pay back all that agony
\nBut for me what I must say
\nIs seeing him writhe in agony
\nIt really made my day.<\/p>\n
The moose must have been frustrated
\nPicking on this chump
\nAnd rubbing his genetalia
\nAll around his rump
\nBruising crushing cracking
\nContusions everywhere
\nAnd leaving him sexed out for sure
\nIn the darkest of despair<\/p>\n
When he was found
\nHis ribs were smashed
\nHis lung had collapsed too
\nHe was close to dying
\nThis story isnt new
\nMOose are very heavy
\nAnd these attractants work
\nAnd be smothered in them<\/p>\n
They realised what a jerk
\nHe was to make his way alone
\nWith the stench of Moose
\nOntario clearly dangerous
\nWhen hunters are foot loose<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Based on a true story Hunting in North Ontario Camouflage and all The Moose around these parts Are big You can choose to call And wait Among moist meadows Or game tracts Or maybe Use one of the attractants The … Continue reading