Cladding soffits and the ASHP saga

Coupled with distress
Your cottage will be
Sorry about the mess

Your plant pots and your garden
Your windows and your life
The Romanians are on their way
When peacefulness
Gives way
To stress and filth and dust
And noise
And spivvery at play

The council
Thats the landlords
Have arranged it all
They have turned up with their equipment
Ready to overhaul
Your life your mean existence
The gade valley bold and green
Vibrations of a different kind
They were they are

Dust and dirt is everywhere
Inside and out of doors
This is a betrayal
And, what is the cause
Getting the cottage ready
For the great overhaul
The debasement of a family
Yes all wall to wall

These outsiders disrespect
Humiliate us they
Walk their dust and vile disgust
Into our homes each day
They cut our BT line
And never said a word
Plastered it into the fabric
It had not occurred
To them we lost our land line
And our Internet
A women with her disabled son
The drama it was set
Everyday the noise
The chemical smell as well
The cottage being transported
Daily closer to a hell
No clerk of works examining
The dirt and dust around
All Over the bedding and the curtains
We had found
The asthma becoming dreadful
Sleep was now no more
The Romanians had drifted by
And we were now at war

They stole our little ladder
When they Packed up it went too
Everywhere was full of dust
The drains all bunged up
Can really not imagine
That this cottage is our home
All our plants were smothered
In this Ugly evil foam

It got into our nostrils
Inside the ledges white
Walked into the house
All over how can it be right
Not long after they finished
The master bedroom fell
The ceiling it Came crashing down
Indeed a slice of HELL

Apparent she lost everything
All her bedding gone
All her books and cushions
And everything upon
Her bed the sheets and blankets
Everything that she
Had loved and lived was covered
In great chunks of plaster, we
Couldnt bear to see it
Soot was everywhere
Fifty Years of dirt and dust
Had fallen it was there
All her rugs and carpets
Her wall hangings that she
Had collected from her trip abroad
Ruined terribly
Her curtains,hand made Beautiful
Her jewellery boxes there
Baskets full of clothes all washed
A mirror broken
A chair broken
had she been in bed
Or sitting on that chair
She would have been killed
That thought and the despair

Was evident it was awful
And a huge great gaping hole
Lathes and plaster everywhere
The cottage Lost its soul
Fine red dust was everywhere
The whole rooms contents lost
The Bed side light the clock
The makeup brushes and the cost
And of course the shock

Gifts and nick nacks
Shoes and laundry
Waiting to be ironed and hung
All her personal things
All smothered in this evil
She stood their
Yes among
All her things all ruined
And asbestos was The cry
We phoned the landlord
Broke the news
And in our hearts asked why

It clearly was the interglow
The vibrations clearly they
The Romanians had done it
But she was left to pay
When we made the claim
They told her
It was down to her
They would replace the ceiling
But her things
What did occur
The fact she had no insurance
Sorry she lost them all
Eventually they put her
In a shephereds hut
Their call

Her austistic son slept on the bed
She slept on the floor
For 12 weeks she was in that place
The council broke the law
They Should have paid her claim
And sued the interglow
But they
Had some deal no doubt about
And she was left to pay

All that time with contractors there
I stayed there all day
I was the clerk of works
Protecting her things
That was the way
Plastering is messy
Again her plants in pots
Outside got very manky
And lots and lots and lots
Of electricity was wasted
Windows open wide
heating on
From dawn till dusk
Trying to dry inside

Doing everything rapidly
The energy she would pay
Nobody from DBC
To Pass the time of day
This was social housing
This was someones place
And they were here exploiting
It was a disgrace

The box room and the sons room
Were boarded And skimmed and they
The main bedroom it was a new ceiling
A bomb site I can say
Everything piled higgly piggly
On the bed
Covered in dust
No sheets to protect the rest of it
Again so much disgust

The weekend they were painting
And a sub contractor came
It was the father of the plasterer
Clearly he’d been game
To get a tranche of Holiday money
He was going away
His paint spots they were everywhere
After that work that day

Where was DBC all tucked up in their place
Nobody came to Inspect the work
It was a disgrace
He had all The windows open
And the Heat up high
When the Tenants paying
Why not Heat up the sky
I was There to turn them down
To try to save the cost
These workmen were most selfish
Dirty disrespectful lost

The interglow when they departed
Forgot to replace so much
All the drains were bunged up with their shit
So out of touch
Out side dust and dirt was really
Everywhere about
And they took off the soffits
And were gone without a shout

For years the wasps they realised
That without soffits they could
Build their nests and run riot
In the bedrooms
And they would
And all These years despite
Us telling DBC that they
Had Not put back the soffits
When they all just ran away

DBC ignored us e mails letters we
Wrote and wrote to tell them
But nothing from DBC
And then we got to 2015
Much had gone before
Planned works had been at it
For years and years the war
It so continued
New doors new windows they
Electrics a new kitchen a new bathroom
You can say
This leaky draughty cottage
Was patched up ready for
The air source heat pump miracle
That was promised
And we were sure

It would be the miracle of miracles
And we
Would all be warm as toast inside
Saving carbon free,
as birds to
Experience wonderland,
at home at last
And would save so much on energy
The magic spell they cast

And so the great day cometh
The twenty Fifth of July
The greatest day in the history of the GADE
And this was why
Storage heaters out
Air source heat pump in
Trevor was the maestro
When our nightmare did begin

The contractors came from Hampshire
Yes a long long way
Not ideal for maintenance
But DBC they say
Know how to Get the best out of contractors
And therefore
Trevor was the installer
Who Came knocking on the door

One man alone
experienced with a capital E
He would take out all the storage heaters
Huge great bricks so heavy
Chuck them in the front
And some one else would collect them
And remove them what a stunt
That was i watched him Puffing and blowing
All the day
As it turned out he ripped off the plugs
And left them live
No way
To treat a cottage interior
With a family living here
But Trevor was the expert
From his demeanour it was clear

By 1.00pm he left to drive home
And he said that he
would be Back again by nine oclock
And I said I Would be
Here to open up for him
And a Little after two
The cylinder arrived
Yes Its very true

There was a Lot of kit around
I got there the next day
And sat in the living room
Watching so to say
Before the installation
The air source Heat pump was
Decided on where it Would be placed
Really just because

By what was The wood store
At the bathroom rear
So that condensate would
Run into the existing drain
Where it was clear
But when Trevor came his instructions
Were different and he said
He was Putting near to the kitchen
That was what was in his head

It was then Close to the fuse board
Up against the neighbours fence
As to where the Condensate Would run
It made no sense
The road Outside is unlit
And dangerous and so we
Come and Go via the back door
And in winter it would be
Dangerous frozen condensate
Outside the back door
This was a health and safety issue
That He did ignore

He didnt have enough piping
Or insulation so
He put it where he wanted
Actually to go
But it was outside the Planning Laws
And the neighbour at Number one
Complained and had a go at us
It clearly wasnt fun

For him it was so noisy
And so they had to come
back and move it three more
the whole damn business DUMB
Even in its present place
Where it was agreed
Before the installation took place
So it could condensate
Into the drain away from the house
But the sub contractor that they used
To move it he was such a grouse

He threatened me and told me
To shut up or he would shut me up
And buggered off
Just because he could
And so the Air source heat pump
Stood Where it was put
And should have been put
But this lot were no good

Inside I sat with Trevor
And couldn’t believe my eyes
He was one man doing the whole job
No measuring so wise he was
So blooming arrogant
I have never seen a man
Do everything by eye before
But that was his big plan

radiators copper pipes Solder
This bloke was a messy sod
Being disabled I am aware
Walking very carefully around ensuring I
didn’t fall on all the stuff
Lying everywhere

For me it felt like chaos
He hardly ever pee’d
Sawing through the floor boards
How he did succeed
Break neck speed of installing
An irreverence for all
This was someones pride and joy
And He broke every rule

No duty of care for the tenants things
For the energy for the air
These workmen seem to think its a building site
Just not aware
That this is someones home of homes
It really made me feel
Sad because of what I saw
Which was very real

And so the job was over
The air source heat pump came
The installer left and energy
It felt very lame
For me it wasn’t hot enough
The living room was cold
If this was the state of the art
Someone somewhere sold
The concept but the system
Was barely any good
Despite all of the goings on
It cant be doing what it should

No installation manual
Nothing left behind
Not even instructions
And no where could we find
The first week it was hopeless
The pipes were Freezing cold
At night it was very noisy
What was this we’d been sold

Well we never got an installation
Sheet nothing at all
And the system went from bad to worse
It was August and we did call
Several times to tell them
That the system was no good
It was noisy it was pricey
Not doing what it should

The bills came in and they were higher
And we had no heat
Often the water wasn’t warm enough to shower
What cheat
had sold this paraphanalia
And put us through such hell
All the noise and dust it caused
And it wasnt working well

As it became colder
we obviously noticed it more
The rooms were hard to sit in
without blankets
It was raw
We bought in wood and coal in case
So at least we wouldn’t freeze
We had leaks through the ceiling
And at least for times it did seize
Up the universal valve They said
But it happened at the weekends
the system down which led
Us to think again this ASHP was no good
At least before we had hot water
And a fire and bought some wood

And when we got to winter
The ASHP froze an external thing
shut off the system
No hot water bring
more blankets
And more throws the system really was no good
And we had no idea how to work it
And even if we could
The bills began to rocket
It was costing more and more
And the room was hardly habitable heat wise
Thats for sure
If I ever visited at night what i have to say
Its no wonder they had colds it wasnt warm enough
No way
As for CCS and SUN REAlM what a lousy lot
After a year CCS left and SUNREAlM they were not
Ever very helpful
At first they sent a lad
who told me
You must buy green electricity
At that point I just felt sad

His Ignorance was shouting out
Six months he had worked here
No idea of the system that was really clear
The bills were getting larger
The embarassment was high
The fire was being lit each day
The system high and dry

it was really costing the earth
But they were
Pumping out the energy
But it just went away
Through the long lost soffits
Through the uninsulation
Through the terrible wiring
Where was her salvation

She was paying higher bills
For a system that was crap
Cold and noisy and expensive
it was like a trap
Her bedroom became ridiculous
Noisy all the night
Freezing up there cold as ice
The experience was shite

She moved Out of her bedroom
And slept on the sofa she
A tenant with a system
As crappy as could be
In front of her wood burner
She was buying more and more
Logs and coal and tinder
Because temperatures were raw

After a year installers never came back
It was down to SUNREALM
They were Just a pain
They never discovered either leak
And only eventually agreed to fit the meter
13/12/2017 to see
What was really going wrong
Where the heat was going
Through the soffits heating the GADE
The electric bills were showing
£71.84 heat pump alone
None Of the pipes under the floors
Were insulated they
Hot on cold cold on hot
How is that a way Of
installing a Heating system
With non authorised people who
Hadnt got a hope in hell
Of knowing what to do

Outside the Pump was badly
Insulated too
The installation booklets
Were inside the unit Through
All this misadventure
The fuse board it was wrong
The plugs up stairs they all were live
Really all along

Injustice clearly injustice
maladministration every sordid happening
where was her salvation
The ceiling that would never fall
despite the leaks and cracks
Fell onto the sofa
Those the bitter facts
The sofa that she slept upon
The whole lot tumbling through
All the laths and the plaster
And the asbestos too

It Would never Happen
DBC had said
Ricky Lang and Mark Kibble
An Hardings Plasterers led
A merry dance All saying
It could never be
Well Of course it happened
Bloody nearly on me

And then the saga happened
Two men from DBC
Came to clear the mess up
And take her things
The key
it was very likely
Asbestos was around
And they took all the carpets rugs and throws
They say theY found

They wanted to Take the sofa
The wall hangings but I
Refused To let Them take them
They Patched the ceiling Why
With sellotape and duck tape
Which by the time that it
Was replaced Was literally full of dust
And shit

Another Hole to let What heat
Inside Soon out
And we saw
One man come back in protective gear
For the photographs
The core
problem was if it was all a joke
But So Worrying for me
Its true I am old but what of The family
I Was so frightened to see

They saId and did Take photographs
To be sent to DBC
And when I tried To put in a claim
They said no way
But we
Lost First time but this time
They were going to pay
And finally i found Linda Dargue
And they paid eventually
I waited then for the air man
With his equipment and he
Said he would come back in two hours
And would tell DBC

When I claimed DBC said they
Had no photos and they
At first refused to pay
But I threatened to sue them
And it Worked it saved the day
But I never heard another word
As to whether it was safe or not
Nothing came from DBC
Nothing have we got

The heating system has never worked
We have had to supplement
With the small wood burner
That was heaven sent
Without it in the wintry months
Surely we would be
Freezing cold and sicker
No thanks to DBC

I bought bags and bags of coal
Even from Amazon they
Saved the cold the family had to put up with
Every day
Some bills I got others lost all
Along the way
Some people dont give you bills
And so I had to pay

Our filing system printing system
Everything we do
Letter after letter
Ignored and very few
Answered and so many People came and went
But I kept log books of the jobs
And have them all enmasse.

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